Why is everyone so damn determined to disable people?
Seriously.
If you really, really have to make reference to a person in terms of an ability they may not have,
You say: person who has a disability.
Put the person, first.
It’s not that hard.
And it’s NOT about political correctness.
Let’s look at the language for a moment, shall we?
Starting with “disabled”:
The prefix “dis” means: “not” or “the opposite of”, right?
And “able” means: “having enough power and resources to accomplish something”, right?
So from the word “disable” we take the meaning to be:
“Not having enough power or resources to accomplish something”.
That’s not so bad, I guess.
Let’s move on to “person”, for which there are many definitions:
“A living human”
“The composite of characteristics that make up an individual personality; the self.”
“The living body of a human”
Just to name a few.
Now let’s look at what happens when you use the word “disable” to define a “person”:
“Not having enough power or resources to accomplish (ie. to be) a living human.”
Huh.
Shit hey.
I hope that when you said “disabled person” you were talking about a corpse,
Because is that not effectively what it means not to be a living human?
To be a dead one?
Following the same logic:
When using the word “disabled” to define the person,
Couldn’t you also use the word “dead”?
Google “disabled person” and replace every heading with “dead person”.
Go on, it’s fucking hilarious!
“Student’s asked to dress as dead person for fundraiser”
“Application for a dead person’s parking permit”
“How to interact with a dead person in the workplace”
Hilarious when it’s all just words on a page.
Not so hilarious when you’re talking about a living, breathing, feeling person as though they were a corpse.
Seriously.
Now you know what you’re actually saying,
Will you mind your fucking language next time?
Posted for iheartfaces
And of course, for M.
God give us strenght.
Strength to hold on,
And strength to let go.
-Leunig
I believe this is the lesbian version of a: Mummy? What are those kangaroos doing? moment.
OK:
Who moved my road?
I am standing up as a type this.
Why?
Because of Mary.
Yep.
She took advantage of me today and now I can’t sit down.
I guess you could call this a standing ovation, of sorts.
Just without the clapping.
Because that’s one thing I definitely am not doing right now.
Clapping.
OK:
Back to the bit where Mary took advantage of me:
My darling girlfriend is a ‘hardcore’ lesbian.
Meaning she has been with girls since forever.
I am also hardcore (sometimes mistaken as having a pole stuck up my arse by dickwipes who wouldn’t know hardcore if it crawled up their arse and died)
But when it comes to girls I have to admit to being all sickly and marshmallow soft like.
Because when it comes to girls:
Mary is my first.
Now, gay straight or eternally fucking twisted,
We can all relate to having moments of weakness.
Moments where partners play their dominant hand,
The: “I’m more experienced than you,”
Or the: “You’re very very very drunk, aren’t you?”
Or the: “I’m stronger than you,”
Or the: “I know something you don’t know,”
Or the: “I have something you don’t want the police to see,” (what, just me then?)
Or the: whatever.
In some way, shape, or form,
We have all been to the place where we get taken advantage of.
It’s a place that I visit quite frequently,
Because when it comes to lesbian stuff,
Mary knows way more than me.
So today:
She approaches me with a jar of something that smells half fruity and half medical “keep that shit away from me”
And I SO should have trusted the second half,
But then she smiles all “I’m going to make you cum so hard you forget your own fucking name for 45 minutes” like,
And says, “You know what would be really hot? If you got a brazillian…”
I am all:
No fucking way.
I’m an Aussie.
A BUSH LOVING Aussie.
And she is all:
*Smile*
And *sex*
And *45 minutes of OH MY GOD WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT MY NAME IS I AM IN HEAVEN*
I know.
She totally took advantage of me.
So I am lying on the bathroom floor,
One pony tail and tulips (say it slowly) away from a true birthday suit,
And Mary enters with the keep that shit away from me medical fruit smelling pot of liquid evil, cotton strips and silk ties.
I have second and third and fourth and fifth and a fucking gazillion thoughts
And while I am thinking she ties my hands together and ankles to the plumbing pipes.
Which under normal circumstances would be super hot,
Except for liquid evil that she is spreading over my beloved Aussie bush AND
OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT IS HOT!!!
AS IN YOU’RE BURNING A FUCKING HOLE IN MY HOLE HOT!!!
Which is fucking hard to sign with both hands tied together, let me tell you.
But I must have managed to get it across,
Because right before she tore me a new one,
Mary said, “Oh cum on, don’t be such a pussy!”
Then just to prove her point she tore my pussy from my body.
One strip at a time.
There was blood.
And tears.
And if it were not for the promise of 45 minutes where in I cum so hard I forget my own name,
Mary would never be allowed near this bush loving Aussie chick,
Ever, EVER, again.
*sob*
So this standing ovation is not for Mary,
It’s for my tulips.
Cruelly ripped from my body by the hardcore bitch I call my girlfriend.
May they rest in peace forever more.
Amen.
So I win stupid person of the century.
Mary and I went to a bar.
Mary knew lots of people there.
This chick – let’s call her Italics - came over and started talking at a million miles an hour:
Mary!
How are you?
Long time no see.
Did you hear about so and so?
She hooked up with so and so
Can you believe it?
Like so wrong, right?
I know
Check my new lip gloss
Isn’t it hot?
It tastes like fully amazing
Did you know that I heard people swallow like 50 litres of this stuff in their life?
Isn’t that bull shit?
I know
So are you back on the scene now?
“Just visiting.” said Mary.
Oh.
Who’s this chick?
“This is my girlfriend, Sammi,” said Mary.
Sammi
You totally want to kiss me don’t you?
It’s OK
I mean I was talking about my lip gloss
Do you want a taste?
I don’t mind
“Er, Sammi is deaf. She is reading your lips. I don’t think she wants to kiss you,” said Mary.
Deaf?
Like no way
Really?
Since when did you hook up with retards?
And that is when I won stupid person of the century.
Because I let the second most stupid person of the century upset me.
Fucking retard.
Photo Challenge hosted by Mountaingirl.
